Self-worth is priceless. You can’t buy it, and no one can give it to you. It’s something you have to give to yourself. Cultivating self-worth reflects the essence of how you relate to yourself.
Self-worth also involves boundary setting. Have you ever done anything where your heart and gut know it wasn’t quite right, but you did it anyway? Did you feel kind of icky afterward? As we cultivate our worth, we must stand up for ourselves.
Cultivating Self-Worth Parable
Here’s a story to illustrate what I mean. Imagine that, before passing away, your grandfather gave you his beloved gold watch. He received it for his twenty-first birthday. It’s Swiss, and the face is embedded with tiny diamonds. It’s absolutely stunning. A couple of years after receiving the watch, you and your spouse have run into financial problems, and you’re looking around the house for things to sell to help you pay your bills.
Your spouse says, “Hey, Honey, I wonder how much that watch is worth. You don’t ever wear it. It’s just sitting in the drawer. How about if you take it around town and see what you can get for it?”
With a heavy heart and an uncomfortable feeling inside, you and your grandfather’s watch get in the car. First, you go to the flea market. As you show it around, the vendors say, “Oh clearly, that’s a knockoff. I’ll give you twenty bucks.”
Shocked, your gut wrenches, and you back up by saying, “No. Thank you.”
You walk down the block and come to a jeweler that buys gold. You step into the shop and ask the jeweler what she might give you for the watch. She takes it from you. Looks at it and weighs it in her hand. Then she says, “Well, even though there’s weight to this piece. There’s a lot of glass, and the face and all of the guts that make the watch work add to its heaviness. There’s not really that much gold in here. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.”
You know that this watch is your grandfather’s legacy. You know, you could find other things to sell. So you say no, thank her for her time, and move on.
You go around the corner to the antique watch dealer and enter his store. You ask him how much he might pay you for the watch. He takes the watch from you. And puts the loupe over his eye and carefully examines the watch. He says, “Wow. This is a very rare piece. It’s quite old and in excellent condition. Not many were made with these tiny diamonds embedded in the face. It’s beautiful. Are you sure you want to sell it?”
With a stone in your stomach and a smile plastered on your face, you can’t even respond. Misunderstanding your silence and taking it for a yes, he follows up with, “I can give you five hundred dollars for it.”
You know the watch is worth so much more than that. In fact, to you, it’s priceless.
He just told you it was rare and beautiful. So you thank him for his time, leave the shop, and head back to your car? On the way back to the car, you think about what you’ve learned, and you remember that a friend once told you, “No matter where you are in life. No matter what challenge you’re facing. Remember to carry yourself in a way that makes you proud to be you.”
You know, you can’t sell the watch just as you know better than to sell your soul. Some other person might tell you you’re worth twenty, a hundred, or even five hundred dollars, but you need to determine—and believe in—your own self-worth. Your self-worth is wholly dependent on how you perceive yourself. Not on how other people perceive you.
Sometimes life is just flat-out difficult, and you must make hard decisions. You need the money, and the only buyer is the flea market. And yet the watch is still priceless.
As you go home, you realize that you’ve learned a valuable lesson, one worth more than the money you could have received in exchange for the watch.
You’ve learned that what you think of yourself is more valuable than what others think of you. And you found the strength to set boundaries.
Arriving home with the watch in hand, you walk in the door and say to your spouse, “Let’s find something else to sell. I’m not going to sell this watch. There’s only one, and it’s precious.”
Inside your heart, you know that there’s only one of you. And it’s precious. Noticing how you feel, you’re cultivating your self-worth.
Simple Self-Worth Exercise
Here’s a simple exercise you can practice daily to cultivate your self-worth.
First, find a few quiet moments where you can breathe deeply and be free from distractions. Then on your right hand, bring your thumb and index fingertips together. Bring the hand up to the level of your chest and place your palm face in toward your heart.
This hand position, known as a mudra in Sanskrit, represents knowledge of your heart. While holding this mudra in place, say aloud for yourself, “I am enough. And I will grow and become even better. I am a good person.”
It may be uncomfortable saying those words for yourself, and if so, shift the statements to become aspirational, “I want to believe I am enough. I will grow and become even better. I want to be a good person.”
Notice how your body feels as you hold the mudra and say those affirmations aloud. Your brain is activated by intentional movement and language. Your kinesthetic body sense is activated by holding the mudra, and your auditory sense is activated by saying the affirmations out loud. Use that mudra and those phrases any time you want to be uplifted.
Explore this website for further information, or please contact me with any questions. I’d love to have you join me for an upcoming spiritual tour.
